Waiting for Warfare…


Bush in office, Condolessa Rice our Secretary of State, these are the very same people who decide our fate…Our people have chosen, these forboding, undeniably, unjustifying terrorists to rule our country…enslaved we’ve become…Oh my God what have we done…Daily events occur, that serve as the warning…Stop, Look, Listen…we fail, stomachs turning…Social Security taxed, yet there’s no money for me, I keep paying for these fools to steadily lead me down the road of poverty…Food tainted, disease rampant, they have the power to decide who stays and who will go…X Files we’re placed, humanity erased, lives hanging in the balance…they have more nuclear weapons they are not afraid to use…the blind leading the blind which path will we choose…Bush got the gun, don’t f’ with number one…warfare….waiting for warfare….

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I Have to Talk About This Again…


For some reason it is truly important to me….Is it really ok to “hide” behind images of Supermodels and Rock Stars because that seems to be the only way you can gain acceptance and a large amount of friends? What happened to just being you and letting people accept you for who you are, not the image they think you are….

Then let’s be real people because I have seen countless profiles all over the web where supposed “Victoria’s Secrets” models have profiles (I won’t call you out, that’s not necessary, you know who you are…” (yeah some of us do SHOP at Victoria’s and we do know who the models are!)

Basically what you’re doing is called “deception” (I’ll even pull the dictionary out for you to understand the word a little better)

de·cep·tion n.
The use of deceit.
The fact or state of being deceived.
A ruse; a trick.

The amount of people that fall for your schemes, truly do get hurt behind the lies, but instead of being who you truly are you’d rather run…and hide…So once again what happens when you actually meet the people you’ve lied to? What do you do then? “Oh that was my cousin Sharonda she said it was ok to use her pic…” Or better yet, “Yeah I’m best friends with so-and so and she said it was ok…” But what can one believe when the entire affair started out as a lie anyway? Then instead of facing up to what you have done, you try to “detract” the situation from yourself and talk about others being deceptive…Either way it all boils down to LIES….

Let me tell you about a little incident that occurred oh say a couple of months ago where we (my partner and I ) were approached by a certain “woman” who wanted a website right? Something didn’t feel quite right about her and before we do any kind of work for anyone, trust me we do our homework on the person or business….

Well this woman for what ever reason had pics of a certain Baywatch model/actress posted, but when you look at her profile pics, and the two and a half inch thumbnails posted in her photo gallery of the actual person, they were two totally different people….See when your pics are “too” perfect that makes me wonder which site you stole them from, and when your ass really is sagging yet the one you have posted is nice, firm and round…well… you do the math! Now this woman came off as a total business woman, but she was a bit too pushy to try to speak to me (before you can even get to me, you have to go through HIM and trust me…you won’t!)… She was just trying to find out where I had fit in the grand scheme of things concerning a “certain” gentleman that she was being “deceptive” to. She even had the nerve to talk about other people using fake pics on their profiles! Needless to say we didn’t even pursue the matter….and like I had mentioned before, she was only trying to find out who was getting close to her man and (sad to say), he thought she was this Baywatch superstar….(lord)

Can you actually believe what a person has to say when they “lie” from the beginning? Would u even want to?

Just a little food for thought!

Reflections


As the holidays are vastly approaching, it’s time to reflect upon the experiences and create what will be for the upcoming year. Disaster and tragedies have taken a toll on the human spirit, wrecking havoc on our once “so-called” peaceful lives and will. It’s very hard to say whether or not these tragedies have brought us closer together or torn us farther apart, but what we do with our own personal experiences can determine the outcome; what we have learned, how we grow, what we will achieve, what we will become.

Now if I were to look back upon the past few months of this year alone, I can say that (with regret) people who were a part of my life growing up, I personally should have taken the time to let them know that my experiences from them were well appreciated. They helped me to become, to learn and to grow…then with a blink of an eye, they are gone…

Two people (cousins) in general taught me so much while I was growing up that, I never once thought I would hear the words, “Your cousin has passed away…” As heart-wrenching as that sounds, we take for granted on a daily basis the people in our lives without once thinking of the future and what it may entail. One of my fondest memories of my cousins ( because they were both shall I say “gangstas”) is how they taught me how to survive on the streets…(sometimes, or rather oftentimes, street knowledge is better than book knowledge) I learned how to recognize “game” and extinguish it before it became…I learned how to hustle and never depend on anyone for anything except myself. See something a great deal of people miss in Life 101…Depend on thyself, because no one else will do it for you.

October 31st (Halloween of all days) My cousin Ray passed away and to this day I regret all the words I expressed to my mother when I learned he was in the hospital (hospice)…I just thought that the pain and the suffering he was going through was because he was once again “trying to get over” on the system. Little did I know that he really was suffering. I just knew in my heart he’d be alright, I mean I had seen him do it a thousand times over and over. My heart literally sank when I came home from work and received the news about him. Reflecting back upon some of the times we’d share as a family (he used to think I was a spoiled brat and I thought he was scandalous) one of the funniest memories that I have of him now (it wasn’t back in the day when I had to experience it, but now I can laugh at it and just let it go) but he would steal my cds then turn around and try to sell them back to me! Although we weren’t close knit like we were when we were children, I always knew that if I ever needed anything from him, he’d do what he could to make sure I had it…

Albert Charles literally was my idol! He was the biggest, baddest, sweetest man you could ever come across. But, you could never cross him and think you’d get away with it. He was the Don Gotti, and I am still trying to process his death to this day. (I could tell a ton of stories about my experiences with Albert Charles….) Albert Charles was always there for me, he was considered the “black sheep” of the family because of his prison stays, and oftentimes my family forbade me from hanging out with him, but to no avail, because he was truly the only one who ever gave a damn and wanted to make sure I never walked along the paths that he walked. If we were standing at the Crossroads today, he’d push me on the right path (even if I protested) he’d insist…

Mrs. Degrate passed away one week before Ray passed away…She left such an impact upon my younger sister (she babysat her) that Nicole would listen to only Mrs. Degrate (instead of my mom sometimes.) She was the only one who could get through to my sister and through to any of the children she watched. Growing up, Mrs. Degrate had all of the neighborhood children in her care, and in control (something that is lacking in today’s society…the village that raises the children) I remember all of the neighborhood birthday parties and barbecues. Mrs Degrate would sit proudly at school functions and watch all of us children and would be the loudest one clapping for our accomplishments! Her daughter Mimi (rest in peace, she passed away from AIDS) and I were the same age and literally if not blood, were sisters. When I learned Mimi had AIDS and had refused to continue her medication, questions of my own mortality arose. Within the course of two and a half years already I had lost so many people; My Father, my next door neighbor Margie (another neighborhood icon village mom) My Dog Bear and Mimi. And now, this year has brought about even more loss. I worry so much now about Aunt Bonnie (my father’s sister) who is currently battling lung cancer. I worry about Nanny (my grandmother) who has to deal with more and more heartache each day…

My sister Nicole adored Mrs. Degrate, Toni, Mrs. Degrate’s daughter was telling me the story of when Nicole would be there she’d have all types of dairy products (Nicole has severe allergies to dairy products) and she’d be fine…it’s just when Nicole would be home that she’d break out in hives and rashes if she had milk, cheese or you name it! Only at Mrs. Degrate would she be fine…Mrs. Degrate was the only one who could stop her from banging her head against the sidewalk and concrete walls (something she’d do when she got mad) and get her to calm down.

I mentioned earlier about taking people for granted or taking for granted the fact that we think someone will be here for all eternity, but if it is not written in the cards, it will not be. How we choose to interact with people in our everyday lives and what we do to further enrich their experiences while they are here should matter, now more than ever, because one day we may look up and someone else is taken so early from our lives. It’s important to let people know how you feel about them, it’s important to give love and acknowledge all people in our lives.

Its important, especially during the holidays that we do all that we can to help those less fortunate, and open our hearts to them. The holidays are a stressful time of year for anyone, but just imagine someone struggling to find cover for the night from the elements, or searching for food in garbage bins. Every little bit that we could do, counts…Remember they too are our brothers and sisters…

Give love, share love, be LOVE….

Love is Life

Money and Relationships – Keep it Real


I am so glad to be standing here before you to profess to you that I am not one of the vast majority of men and women who feel that in order to have a relationship with someone it also needs to be supplimented with monetary, and material items…I simply cannot be purchased or better yet put on layaway, etc… (Seriously all that glitters really isn’t gold…It could just be some gold flaky paint with a bunch of glitter and chips off of rocks to look like stones) 😉

Why can’t I have a simple understanding with someone about this without having to explain this very concept every single time the topic of purchasing goods for me, or sending me money comes up? Just because I say I need something, doesn’t necessarily mean that I expect anyone to get it for me, I am a pretty self-sufficient person, all that I am I created from Myself, by Myself, without the use of someone else’s wallet…Unlike most people today, I don’t use people, exploit them, etc…Fulfillment for me really comes from self…and it’s not the tangible, it’s the intangible that moves me…

Today in order to be in a relationship, (and I’m just saying this because 89% of the people that I have talked to truly feel that in order to be happy they have to have other people’s money to do so) it seems to be based on salaries, the size of the house and the unlimited number of cars…

What happened to say…Love? And since we’re talking about Love, when did it come with conditions? Why is it that someone will say, “Hey I would love you more if you buy me that ring…or fly me to Paris, or…” and the other person is literally wrought-up with fear of losing the other person because they simply can’t provide all that they are being demanded of…by way of the wallet…

What happened to deep, heart-felt emotions, where it didn’t matter whether you lived in a box with this person, because somehow you knew that you would find a way through….that deep, constant…craving…desire for one another…that actually didn’t come with a price tag, Rolex box, or frilly buttons, bows and fur to prove your love for them…

Sure there are still couples out there who truly give from their hearts and they are equally rewarded, but for the most part Love seems to be based on something…self-serving…nonetheless… it’s always…something….

Do you know I actually had a guy tell me that I was the fool for not jumping at the offers being extended simply because he thought money was my motivator…When I once again explained my view on the matter, he had the utter audacity to get mad…I said you know WE (those with morals, conscious, and values) do STILL EXIST! We’re just regarded as all those other folks with their hands out wanting SOMETHING…

Really for me BE ABOUT SOMETHING, then we could talk…close your wallet though cause I have my own…. (stepping down from my podium now)

The Idle Ramblings of a Mad Woman in a Crazed World